It seems like it’s been so long. Like I’ve never really known a life without the sobriety and restoration that guide my life.
But, healing takes time.
I think coming clean about the worst part of who you are leads to a lot more honesty in the little things. I think that honesty is sometimes challenging to the people around you… to those you love the most.
I just don’t feel the need to hide anymore.
I used to do whatever I could to keep my wife at arm’s length because then I could live my secret life and have my secret rendezvous with my addiction. I could keep everyone out with my sleight of hand… “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain…”
But those days are over, even though I do sometimes find myself trying to live by those old habits.
It’s hard to take nearly twenty years of insincere communication and relationship habits and transform them into something life-giving and meaningful.
But that’s what I have to do… and sometimes it hurts me and those I love.
I just hope this doesn’t take another twenty years.
Tags: addiction, battle, consequences, freedom, grace, healing, hope, hurt, husbands, love, marriage, recovery, sexual addiction, spiritual warfare, trust
